i'm seriously not trying to save myself,,,

I ask for death all the time and I'm serious. You may think because I type this crap, I want to live but I absolutely do not want that. So religious trash, why can't you sacrifice my life for the same kind of religion bull crap. If I was trying to help myself to live, I might try the book of Jobe or something but then that puts me in your religion category. Or, what about the freemasons? See, I'm more hopefull to die than to live. I promise you won't get into any trouble. yea, I know strange and all but i have always been and i don't see it getting better anytime soon, if ever. So what, we will never meet face to face. I'm only a deathwish anymore. So what, its my life or its supposed to be.