another day shot to hell,,

I sneaked off to work at a wireless router and they still blocked everything I tried to do. I tried to contact the America Bar Association after unsuccessfully trying to create a few different email accounts at different services and am tossing in the towel today. What is going on? They tell me the country is under Marshall Law and that I'm being tortured like the insignificant stepchild that I am. Actually, there is so much crap that I will never be able to help. Wish i could. Sorry about all the people i dog from the torture,, i have nothing elose to say. My heaqd is throbbing,, they do that physical pain shit you know but still no touch. I dont know if that movie on TCN at 10p tuesday will help or hinder my situation,,,, This is something that is more than humiliating and dehumanizing which every body knows more than me.. im just not the quality character the think i should be. I just want the pain and the fuckin guessing and lying game players to get a life besides mine,, Look im not Jesus nor am I Howard Hughes. They wont let me do anything,, death threats for everyone,, on the house,, what do u want? they say go mental and in hospital forever but I had to beat my last doctor off from the electric shock because if i forget this half lied bullshitt i get nothing,, im NOT married. I'm not even fuckin semi-close to one single person,, why? secret marshall law huh,,