Wednesday, September 10, 2008

crickets during the day huh,,

that has been happening for years,,  funny,, does not seem like that should be happening but I am not really sure if they do that or not. 

Come on fuckin poison patches work, please.    I have empathy maybe, maybe not.  I don't know what I ever said when I was sick but apparently it must have been true.   Please killme, I'm begging for death.  Thank you very much if you can help this (me) pathetic fool.    Thank you very much.   Oh the retro-virus and dna alteration is something I thought I remembered from a microxxx some kind of class.  I do NOT know whether that is true.  God I hate you fuckin people.
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We need Tina to tame and kick Ike's butt,,,

Get it outta the gutter, master,, I can tell you are looking at the word 'butt', huh,,   Anyway, I don't really like to accept, much less report, false information.  I don't really want to be the bearer of bad news, which apparently I should feel obligated blame for the shame I cause.  I'd hate to not take most if not all the responsibility on myself.  I don't believe anyone really hates me, but my behavior is so irrational and self-defeating.  Many times I can't believe this madness is happening to me.  Actually, it is pathetic.



I am so terribly lonely. 

well apparently this didn't post last night,,,


please let me die,,,  why didnt the Fentanyl patches work?     the news said 3 patches will cause death...  why not 5?   thats one of my predetermined magic numbers.  i don't think its a very good idea to give the government control of fraudulent home and school loans if that makes a difference.  That's just my ignorant opinion.  I'm not capable of anything at this time.  i can NOT take care of myself.   I truly wish i was deceased.  Everything and anything I do is wrong and damaging to self and all.  Apparently, that will continue forever.  I can NOT live like this.  I can NOT be an astronaut.  I can NOT make political decisions regarding the USA or anywhere. I can NOT live like this.  I can NOT hate you like you hate me.  I can NOT hate myself like you hate me.  I can NOT accept responsibility for relentless hate that has been placed on me and I can NOT believe everyone is only acting.  I do NOT believe I am hated but it could be true.  I just want my death.  Why will these patches NOT work?    I defeated from the start, my birth.  Please Lord Jesus, end this hate nightmare.  Please do NOT let me hold grudges.  Please let justice work for the world.

Now let me die, please, I am begging.  I am not interested in your fake hate or fake love.  I beg for my death.  I can NOT find the way.  I am the world's biggest fool.  I am NOT proud to be anything.  The life I have lived is shameful and a disgrace and I am unable to change for a game of fight or die.  I want to die.  I have no interest in any games.  It is too late for me.  Please let me be relieved of pain and hate, Jesus.  Please.  I am begging to be physically deceased.
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

by the way,,

I've decided to try the heterosexual change.  Thank you for your patience.  Colonel Beaver can you do anything?   this is the absolute worst, having to guess everything and always being wrong.  Its quite disheartening.  And I totally appreciate everything.  Figures, wasn't it someone from the queers on steers state giving advice.  I keep forgetting I still can't trust anyone.  Mr. Nugent, can you play 'Free For All' over the country's loudspeakers please?
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repeal any discrimatory laws,,

or self-sabotaging techniques that have ever been enacted for any actions that I must complete for my surprised role as President. Dammit,, well u make me wait too friggin long.  
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Sorry FBI about the wanna be CIA joke,,

You are great.  Please do what you are trained to do within the guidelines of the US Constitution.   Come on over, anyone, if you want.
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